All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
