I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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