I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
