yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
