So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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