is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
