just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
