Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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