I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
