My room smells like vodka and shame
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
