your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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