nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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