suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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