If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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