i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
where does the pee come out of this thing
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
