Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
