More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
