i barfeds in our rink
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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