fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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