i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I could make wine with my vomit
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
They have beer where we have blood.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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