he shaved USA in his pubs
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
