he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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