We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
operation have a gay friend backfired
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
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