She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
