I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
