he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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