I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
