I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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