two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
