Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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