He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
