are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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