soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
