Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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