is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
i black out too much to be "responsible"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
