I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
