he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
