he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
