Already got asked if we're dating
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
operation harelip BJ is a go
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
