I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
