I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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