Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
