Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
