yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
