He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
