i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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