____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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