I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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