covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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