i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
